Raw And Real: Facing Feelings Instead Of Numbing With External Crutches.
We are human feeling beings. Our feelings are a guiding system — a gauge that tells us what is aligned for us in every way. They show us what feels right, when we are being treated as our soul desires, and when something is off. Our emotions are a compass, helping us navigate this human experience.
So why is it that so many of us are afraid to feel? Why do we choose to numb instead?
As humans, we have many external crutches that we use to avoid our feelings — whether that’s alcohol, tobacco, overworking, food, substances like cocaine, or even plant medicines like weed. At the core, if we are reaching for something every time we feel uncomfortable in our bodies, then we are using that thing to numb, to disconnect, to avoid what is naturally arising within us.
And this becomes a habit so easily — where we give our power away to something external.
But here’s what we now know: Feeling our emotions is essential. Emotions are energy moving through the body. When we suppress that energy — when we avoid feeling — it gets trapped and stored in our system. If we don’t allow this energy to move and release, it can later manifest as physical pain, illness, or disease.
As a man who didn’t cry for over twenty years, disconnected and avoiding my feelings, I understand how scary it can be to face what’s inside. For me, it was the unknown. But here’s the truth: a feeling is simply energy that wants to pass through us. When fully felt, a feeling can move through in as little as ninety seconds. It’s just a feeling — and it always passes.
So how do we make the change — from reaching for the crutch to choosing to feel?
First, we must become aware.
We need to catch ourselves in that exact moment when we are about to reach for something — maybe it's social media, a drink, or a joint. That moment is an opportunity to pause and choose something different.
When we recognize that we’re feeling uncomfortable and wanting to numb, we can instead choose to sit with the emotion, to breathe with it, to ask:
What is this feeling trying to tell me?
Why am I avoiding it?
What am I truly seeking in this moment?
Once we are aware, it’s no longer a habit — it becomes a conscious choice.
Practical tools to shift from numbing to feeling:
When the uncomfortable feeling arises, here are simple but powerful practices to help you sit with it instead of numbing:
Journaling — Write out what you’re feeling, without judgment. Let it flow.
Meditation — Sit quietly, close your eyes, and allow the feeling to be there. Focus on breathing slowly and deeply.
Breathwork — Use intentional breathing to move energy through the body and release tension. A simple practice: Inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 8.
Somatic movement or shaking — Gently move, shake, or dance to move the stuck energy through the body.
Placing your hand on your heart and belly — And saying to yourself: “I am safe to feel this.”
These are tools to express the emotion, instead of suppressing it — allowing that stored energy to leave your body, reducing the urge to reach for external crutches.
What are the feelings driving these actions?
Often, it’s sadness, anxiety, fear, anger — deep feelings we’ve never been taught how to process. But these feelings want to be felt. They are rising to the surface to be acknowledged and released.
Give yourself full permission to feel. To process. To be free from external crutches.
What I’ve discovered about myself — and my feelings — instead of reaching for the crutch:
I’ve discovered that I am fully capable of feeling. I can allow emotions to flow through me. I can go into the depths of myself and always feel safe to do so.
Emotions are just like happiness, joy, and gratitude — they simply feel different. But they always pass. And when they do, they create more space for peace, joy, and presence in my mind, body, and soul.
Through this process, my connection to myself has deepened in ways I never imagined. My understanding and love for myself have expanded beyond what I thought possible. I’ve developed more resilience, emotional intelligence, and trust in myself and in life.
I’ve also seen clearly how, for years, I was giving my power away to external things. I over-consumed food into my thirties. I drank and used drugs every weekend for fifteen years. Even as I began my healing journey, I relied on weed as a way to connect to myself. And yes — at one point, it helped me feel. But over time, my mind created a story that I needed it to connect, to go deep.
There’s a fine line between using a tool like plant medicine with intention and compassion for where we are on our journey — and using it as an excuse to avoid.
For example, working intentionally with plant medicines like weed — combined with meditation and breathwork — can help us access deeper parts of ourselves. But we must be honest: Are we using it to support the process, or to avoid it?
Feeling as a gateway to spiritual evolution:
When we allow ourselves to fully feel, we open the gateway to deeper spiritual growth. Our emotions are not separate from our spiritual path — they are the path. By feeling what arises, we connect more deeply to our soul, our intuition, and the truth of who we are.
Every time we choose to feel instead of numb, we expand our capacity to hold more light, more love, and more of our true essence. We become more connected to Spirit, to Source, and to the flow of life.
Final words:
I encourage you to allow yourself to fully feel. To give yourself permission to go all in. To free yourself from what drives these crutches.
Because on the other side of feeling, there’s space — space for your true expression to arise.
An empowering affirmation to support you:
"I am safe to feel. I trust myself to hold what arises.”
Big Love,
Sean-.